I havent been on this site in ages......oh, maybe because my monitor broke down on me. Peice of fucking junk.

Im staying the night with the crazy old coot next door. Man, Im so mean for saying that..... Ah, well. It would only be mean if I said it to her face, right? Blah.....

Hmm....I wonder if anyone here even knows me? Oh, and I finally got around to finding more Icons. Man, there is some extremely corny shit out there. The "Love" ones and all...

Oh! Well, lets see what has happened recently.

1. I got a job.

2. My parents separated. Again.

3. My monitor died. Stupid peice of shit.....

4. My 74 year old aunt appeared at our door without a place to stay, and stayed the night before she went back home. Whats so significant about that? 
     A. She has had a stroke and has al-timers (how the hell do you spell that again...?) One arm is completely useless. (and her daughter still lets her drive.....0,0)

     B. She hadnt bathed in at least a week. Probably three, maybe even a month.   

     C. She had to sleep with me because our house is small and she couldnt exactly sleep with my dad.

"Eww, after she hadnt bathed in forever.....?! Did she stink?" Is that what your thinking? Well, lets see how to describe her stink..... Personally, I think she smelt like a combination of three things; Sweat, that stinky stuff people get under their toe nails (toe jam, whatever), and the puss from a pimple/blackhead that stinks to the point of making you gag.

    Oh! and of course

    D. I got a new dog.

    E. I had a sorta - stalker.

"Sorta stalker.....?" Yep. A sorta stalker. At work. We hired this new guy, named James. He was probably 22 or 23. Shit load of tattoos. Neck, arms, everywhere but the face.

Well, on his first day, he came in and was asking me where to go. I told him to just look around the store and hang around until everyone got there, so he looked around - boredly - and went out to smoke. He came back in, the boss and others appeared, and he started to leave, turned around, and winked. Of course, me being the person I am, thought he was just joking, you know, teasing me.

Well, he kept on doing it. Winking, that is. And every chance that he got, he would be around me. Instead of going out at the back where the employees would go, he would go all the way to the front. I still thought he was just teasing. Why would a fairly hot - stereotypically scary, too - guy wanna filrt with a 17 - so maybe I look 19, maybe even a bit older... - year old girl?

Anyways, about an hour before everyone left he came up to the counter and said, "Hey....can I talk to you after we get off...?" I was sorta at a lose. I mean, obviously he wasnt serious. I said, "Eh, ok......?" Surely it wasnt to ask me out, right? And if it was, I would have explained first hand that I was 17. I mean, I honestly wouldnt mind going with a guy that was a few years older then me if I really liked them. Of course, this guy was sort of...... if-y, I guess you could say.

Well, there was computer problems, so I never got to see what he wanted to talk about.

The next day (second day) , he did the same thing ; Wink, flirty comments, wink, walkaway. -smooth, huh? -

And then the dumbass got fired because he threw trash out of the delivery truck while driving down the road.

Well, I was talking with one of the other guys (Like, 40's, not potential stalker weirdos) and he was talking about the James guy. He said that james had asked him (Mark is his name) "Hey, man, how old is she?" And Mark told him I was 17. His response? "Oh, better not advance on her, then."

What the hell did he mean by advance? Am I the only one who thought that sounded like the freak was ready to jump my bones?

And there I was. "Oh, hes just teasing. Its not like hes actually interested." 

Im so friggen retarded, man. 

Well, Im out. 

Good night!

OMG.

I personally hate that for some reason, maybe because so many people walk around saying something like "OMG I cant believe...." and stuff. But sometimes its the only thing that can be said.

Example : My dads eyebrows. If you dont run away screaming in horror, faint, or go mute for life of complete and utter shock and terror, then thats what will come out of your mouth.

Im not kidding. They growl at people.

Seriously. They do. He has whitish hair with gray in the back, and his eyebrows are like, ZAZAM!! Black, with a few gray hairs randomly poking out. The hair grows down to his sideburns. I dont know, but personally, I think he needs some serious grooming. Or a chainsaw. That might be the only thing that can survive the horrors of his eyebrows, and even then....Well, it would have to be a pretty damn big saw. Thats all I have to say.

And if his eyebrows arent enough to scare you away at first glance, then try the nose hair. IF you manage to make it past the eyebrows, then the nose hair will get you every time.

This is my first post, and since nothing of importance - besides me getting my finger nearly bitten off by a pig, having a seizure, being attacked by my slobbery dog, and chased around the house by my kitten named Stewie - happened, I guess Ill just complain about retarded poultry that attacks dogs and has a unique taste for human flesh.

Ok, First things first. Im NOT a hick, Im just raised in a family of one, and happen to like animals. Except chickens. And geese. But that isnt the point. The point is, im not a hick. Some may ask : What is it that you have against chickens? Obviously, those who have to ask have never been chased around their yard by the over-sized poultry, or attacked with their spurs ( the claw/talon like things on their ankle/feet that hurt like a bitch when they attack you with them).

My job when we had the chickens (Key word : Had. They no longer exist ) was to collect the eggs that they laid. Nothing too hard, right? The cage we kept them in was large, about 30 by 10, and it was about 6 feet high. One thing one should know when around chickens : They are messy. They poop everywhere, and have no sense of sanitation what so ever. Sort of like an infant or one of my nieces or nephews. But thats a story for another day. 

The hens ( females) are mostly, not all, but mostly pretty nice. Its the roosters that arent. They like to attack people. And I, being around 12 at that time, did not appreciate getting attacked by a over confident cock (I still dont, either). So I brought this stick with me that was about four foot long and had a hook on the end of it, so that when one of the evil birds tried to attack me I could attack back. 

One of the Roosters, my arch enemy whom I called Archy (Arch enemy, Archy, see the connection? ) didnt take me seriously. So, he attacked me. And I wrapped the little bastard upside the head with the stick. Now, I know my own strengths and weaknesses, but when your scared, your stronger then you think you are. (Or is that when your mad?) So, I didnt realize just how how hard I hit him. Of course I did when he started to have a seizure. I know, I know. A chicken having a seizure? No way!

Yes way. I will swear on the pain of death by a thousand burning desert suns that it was true. This completely pointless story has a happy ending though. Well, for me anyways :
I have never been attacked by another Rooster since that day.

And what of Archy, you wonder? Well, he was never the same. He no longer attacked me or my dogs, and would have seizures at random moments. Like when he was in the middle of trying to create more little Archys to avenge him, he would randomly have a seizure.  And grow horns and fangs, and arms, and another set of wings. 

Then he turned into a dragon and planned to take over Canada, but was devoured by the neighbors Canary.